Rock Bottom
by Queen of Kaos
Summary: Futurefic After The Ties That Bind, Ryan, Seth, and Marissa all left Newport. Only one of them came home. Now, five years later, the other two must face the consequences of their decisions. Major RM, mention of SS.
1. Not the Best Idea

_A/N: This was an idea I had for a one-shot, and it turned into a four-chapter short story. I don't know how, but here it is – hope you like it._

"Hey!"

Ryan Atwood smiled at the voice in the front of his apartment and continued flipping burgers on the charcoal grill from the back balcony. It wouldn't take her long to find him – the one-bedroom apartment didn't have a lot of hiding spaces or anything. Sipping from the bottle of Corona at his side, Ryan breathed in his final moment of silence and listened to her approaching footsteps.

"I got a delivery for Atwood?"

Ryan turned, a grin threatening to envelope his entire face. "There's my girl," he put the spatula down and opened his arms wide.

Summer Roberts dumped off the little girl in her arms, who promptly wrapped her arms around Ryan's neck and giggled. "DADDY!"

"Hey, Princess. Where you good for Summer today?" he asked, his forehead resting against hers.

"She was an angel," Summer assured him, sinking to one of the lounge chairs on the balcony and propping her feet on the railing. "Tell your dad what had had for lunch, Jada."

The smile she beamed reached all the way to her mocha eyes, sending a memory of her mother through Ryan's body. "We had hot dogs at the pier, and then Summer bought me a Balboa Bar," she clapped her chubby little hands. "She said I could have another one next week, when we go to the beach."

Ryan gave Summer a "she doesn't need that much sugar" look, but the girl was examining the tan line on her thigh. "You need to go wash your hands so we can eat, okay?" Jada ran off and Ryan slid the burgers off the grill and onto a waiting tray. "You stickin' around?"

In answer, Summer stood from the chair and shook her head. "I'm meeting Cohen at PF Cheng's," she smiled. "And then I'm taking him furniture shopping."

After graduation, Summer had left Orange County for the greener pastures of UCLA. Seth had opted to stay in Newport and continue work on his comic book, Atomic County, which had been gaining a growing fan base since it's debut during their junior year of high school. By the time Summer graduated, more than a year ago, the spin-off, The Adventures of Little Miss Vixen, was taking a nation of geeky, virgin teenagers by storm. But their relationship had thrived, and now Summer, with a degree in design and marketing, was working on the company's first clothing line.

Ryan had feared that returning to Newport after a three-year absence, with a baby and no job, was going to be difficult. But Sandy had helped him find an apartment, Kirsten got him a job with one of The Newport Group's contractors, and Seth had picked up with him as though he had never left. For the first time in his life, he felt like everything was good.

Summer slid her flip-flops on and scurried back into the kitchen. "Kirsten said she could watch Jada tomorrow, if you wanted her to," she called over her shoulder, popping a carrot into her mouth from the bowl on the counter.

Carefully watching the last of the embers from his fire die out, Ryan replaced the lid on the grill and carried his dinner inside. "I don't know if I'm gonna go, Sum," he rolled his neck and turned his back, so as not to see the disappointment in her eyes.

But Summer was disappointed. She was determined. "It has been five years, Ryan. And she has been working really hard to get better. We've had this conversation a thousand times. You know it's time."

He hung his head. "I know, but it's weird, ya know? We're clearly not the same people anymore. I mean, I'm a dad and she's," he trailed.

"An addict?" Summer filled in, her eyes narrowing. She took his hand and gave it a friendly squeeze. "Look, she's having a hard enough time with this whole thing as it is. Her mom's not all that supportive, and her sister won't talk to her anymore. The only person that she has seen is her dad. She needs to know that we are behind her recovery, Ryan."

"There's too much to talk about in one day, Summer. I mean, her life. . . and mine. . . and us? All the unresolved and the uncomfortable."

If there was one thing that Summer didn't take well, it was deviation from a plan she had concocted. "I'll pick you up at eight in the morning, we'll drop Jada off at Seth's mom and dad's, and then we'll drive to down to San Diego, okay?" And she was gone.

Ryan took another beer from the refrigerator and listened as the water ran in the bathroom. "Jada!" _Please let her be getting into something_, Ryan thought. At least that way, he wouldn't have to think about tomorrow's discomfort.


	2. Rehab's Not So Bad

The rehab center that she was staying in resembled one of the upscale resorts the Cohens used to vacation at during the summers. Ryan let out a low whistle as Summer put the car in park and slid her sunglasses on top of her head.

"If I'd know rehab was this nice, I would have checked myself in when we lost the house," Ryan cracked as he and Summer simultaneously slammed their doors.

She shook her dark hair and led the way up the path to the front entrance. "Trust me, Ry, you do not wanna spend your days in here. They share bathrooms, and they have group craft projects," she shook her head. "Macaroni and crayons with a bunch of burn outs? Ew."

Just the sight of her "nose scrunching" made him laugh as he held the front door open for her. The large waiting room was filled with anxious looking family members and friends, all twitching and fidgeting and looking more like they were on something than here to see someone who was. Ryan had seen places like this before, with his mom, only not on this level. Those places used to have cracked plaster walls and smell like urine.

This place smelled like antiseptic and fresh flowers, and he was pretty sure he recognized some of its patients as celebrities on some level. "So, what do we do?"

Summer headed for the front desk and smiled at the receptionist. "Hi. We're here for Marissa Cooper?"

The lady smiled and checked the registry. "ID's?" Each handed their license over. The woman looked at them and then at an appointment book. "Perfect. You guys can have a seat in there," she pointed through a set of double doors, "and she will be with you soon."

The pair sat on a couple of plastic chairs and looked around in awkward silence. Before they could speak, a loud shriek was heard and a tall, thin woman in sweatpants, a tee shirt, and pigtails ran through the common room. She was followed closely by a guy with blue hair and tattoos covering both arms and his neck. The girl slid to a stop at the end of the room and turned, watching her pursuer nearly hit the window.

"And I win again. Not that you have anything left to take," she taunted.

Ryan watched Marissa's playful exchange with this stranger and thought about how easy it would be to bolt before anyone saw him. But it was hypnotic, watching her again, after five years, and wondering what she had to say, what she had learned, what had brought her to this place.

"You didn't so much win as steal my cigarettes and run away, Rissa," the guy complained, reaching for her waist. "And if you don't give 'em back," he threatened.

"You'll what?" she asked, taking a step back.

"Don't tempt me. I been in this place for a long time, Sweetie." He put his hand on his hip to challenge her. "I may be naturally attracted to the penis, but I will cop a feel of just about anything right now."

She pushed his shoulder and withdrew the cigarettes from the band of her sweats. "Ew," she responded, turning around and looking up for the first time. "Hey!"

Summer stood and accepted a hug first. "Lookin' good, Coop," Summer commented.

Ryan watched as the two women shared giggles and hugs. She was thinner than he remembered, her eyes sunken and her bones protruding from her wrists and back. But she was still Marissa, with the shiny, shampoo-commercial hair and the glimmering eyes that danced when she smiled at him. "Hey," was all he said, raising his hand in a slight wave.

She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close her body, breathing in his scent. "I'm so glad you came," she whispered into his ear.

Pulling back, he gave her an uncomfortable grin and then put his hands in his pockets. She might have been glad, but he still wasn't sure it was the right decision. He still wasn't convinced he shouldn't be spending his day off with Jada, at the beach or the pier. "Yeah, well, I figured it was important, right?"

Marissa turned to see that her friend was gone. "Well, I would have introduced you, but," she trailed off and then looked back at her friends and then her watch. "Um, we have about twenty minutes before we meet with Alecia, so, I don't know," she looked at Summer and then glanced at Ryan. "You wanna see my room? Or take a walk in the courtyard?"

"Whatever," Ryan muttered.

"Let's take a walk," Summer suggested. No way was she going to let Ryan see how many of his pictures were littering Marissa's room. Not just of him, but of the four of them together, when life was good and things weren't so messed up. A time she was hoping they could get back to after this weekend.


	3. Ambushed

"You ready?" Marissa asked happily, standing outside the heavy oak door of her therapist's office.

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. Summer had lied. Flat out lied about the reason they were coming here. She didn't have any purpose other than to say "hi" and deliver him. He was the one who had to sit through a therapy session with his ex-girlfriend and her tag team partner, Dr. Alecia.

Pushing the door with her thin shoulder, Marissa looked around the room and then let herself in. "Hey, 'Lecia," she greeted.

A short, chubby woman with blonde hair, a friendly face, and glasses stood and made her way to the couple in the center of her office. "You must be Ryan," she said, extending her hand.

Ryan nodded, shaking her hand. Marissa sank to the couch behind them and waited while he looked around uncomfortably. "Have a seat, Ryan," she whispered.

He did, and the doctor did. And they all sat there, staring at each other while Alecia prepared her notepad from the arm chair across from them. "So, I know you're probably wondering what in the world you're doing here, Ryan," she smiled easily and he shifted again. "Well, Marissa, do you have something you'd like to say to Ryan?"

She cleared her throat and licked her lips nervously. "I have a lot I want to say, but I guess I'll just start with I'm sorry for lying to you to get you here." She sank back and crossed her legs under her on the couch. She was comfortable here. "You're the only one I have left to talk to, though, and I didn't think you would come if I told you the truth."

He wanted to spew something about how lying had always worked so well for them in the past, but he kept his mouth shut. "It's fine," was all he said.

"Alright," Marissa cleared her throat. "I guess I should just start at the beginning?" Alecia nodded in confirmation. "When you left Newport, when Theresa got pregnant, I didn't cope so well. I started drinking," she rolled her eyes and smiled knowingly at him, "more. My mom and Caleb were together, and Seth was gone, so Summer was whining all the time, and you were gone. I didn't want to deal with the lonely, so I started drinking and sleeping with the yard guy." She blushed and wondered for a moment if she should tell him that. Nothing but the truth, she reminded herself. "And my mom found out and shipped me off to boarding school."

"Summer told me all that," he said, his eyes focused on his hands.

"Ryan," Alecia spoke softly, calmly, "it will help Marissa to know you're hearing her, if you look at her when she speaks."

He didn't want to look at her, or hear her, or have anything to do with her. This was nothing more than a painful reminder of his mother, and he wasn't ready for it. But he turned his eyes anyway, watching her screw up another batch of courage to move on with her tail.

"The drinking got worse in Prague," she started again, her voice catching. "And then I met this photographer and he hooked me up with an agent and the modeling thing took off for me. And everybody wanted me around all the sudden, in about thirty places at one time. All I really wanted was to be back in Newport, especially after Summer told me that you had moved back. I thought we could get back what we had, the four of us, but I had contracts and obligations.

"He knew that I was falling behind, that I couldn't keep up with the demands, so he introduced me to the cocaine, and then the LSD, and the heroine. And the meth. I mean, there was nothing I didn't snort or shoot or swallow at some point – I had a substance for everything. And none of it made me feel better. None of it helped me forget," she sighed, leaving the sentence to hang in the air.

"Forget what, Marissa?" Alecia asked. "Tell Ryan what you were trying to forget."

She bit her lip and he met her eyes, hoping for the only time since he had met her, that she didn't say his name. He did not need the guilt of knowing he was the one that put her here. Not after he had driven his mother to it. And who knows what drove Theresa to do what she had done. "I just wanted to forget that I ever had a perfect life. I wanted to forget Newport, and my mom and dad, and Caitlyn. I wanted to forget my friends and school, and everything I had been. Because if I didn't have to think about what had been, I wouldn't hate who I had become so much."

Ryan shifted in his seat as Alecia spoke. "Marissa? Why don't you tell Ryan why you really wanted him to come here today."

She sniffled and reached out to touch his hand. "I wanted to thank you for giving me the strength to believe in myself. I mean, I might have lost sight of who Marissa Cooper really was, or I think I maybe came face to face with who she really was. But the woman that you always believed I could be is the one that I wanted to find when I was woke up on my kitchen floor and decided I needed help. You're the reason I'm here, Ryan," she whispered.

He tensed. "Great. I drove another woman to drink," he chuckled to himself.

"No, you didn't. You drove this one to get help," she offered him a smile and slid her palm in between his clinched palms. "I miss you."

There was a long, awkward silence, as Marissa watched the conflict playing across his face and Ryan felt her fingers trembling between his hands. Alecia spoke, finally. "Ryan, how do you respond to Marissa's confession?"

He shrugged and looked up at the therapist. "What am I supposed to say? It's been five years," he insisted, letting go of her and turned to tuck a leg under his body. "Marissa, I've missed you, too, but, Jesus. I mean, I'm twenty-two now, I have a daughter and a job and I'm getting a degree. I'm not the guy you knew back then."

She shook her head, wiped her nose with the tissue in her left hand, and drew her knees up to her chest. "So tell me who you are now. Tell me about how you got here. I just wanna know who you are now."

He looked at Alecia and then shook his head. "Can we do this somewhere else?"

The doctor stood from her chair and shut her notepad. "If Ryan would be more comfortable somewhere else, you should go, Marissa. Why don't you take a walk around the lake?"

Nodding, the burnt out supermodel stood and nodded toward the door, letting Ryan walk out the door before her. She had known from the beginning that this had the potential to turn out badly. But she needed him there. And she was willing to hear anything he had to say to her. She had to be.


	4. The Whole Truth

The lake was still and smooth, like shimmering glass. It was a stark contrast to the feeling in Ryan's gut as he and Marissa reached the water's edge. "So, where do I start?" Ryan laughed nervously. He felt like, if he didn't let out a chuckle, he would pass out or something.

"How 'bout the beginning. You moved in with Theresa?" Marissa asked, her hands pulling at the sides of her sweatpants as she started walking along the shore of the lake.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Um, I moved in there and Eddie got pissed, things blew up. I got a construction job and moved into my own place until the baby was born. It was safer for everyone." He raised an eyebrow and Marissa smiled knowingly. She was probably the only one of his Newport friends who would really get the dynamic between he and his "friends" from Chino.

"Why not just come back to the Cohens until the baby was born?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I wanted to, but Sandy said that Seth had taken off and you were gone, and I just didn't feel like I belonged there either. It was easier to just stay where I was." Something about the fact that opening up to Marissa still came fairly easily made him feel like this little trip had been worth it. He hadn't realized, in the last five years, that he missed talking to her so much. "But then Jada was born, and the world spun out of control, and I didn't have time to think about missing anyone."

"Jada's your daughter? Summer said she baby-sits sometimes?"

Ryan dug into his back pocket and withdrew his wallet, fishing out the first picture he could find. He handed it over and waited for the look of shock on Marissa's face. She didn't fail him. He smiled as he shoved the wallet back into his pants. "She clearly wasn't mine," he shrugged, referring to the stark contrast in their appearances.

"Unless you have some really regressed African heritage," Marissa suggested. She gazed lovingly at Jada's poofy, black pigtails and mocha skin. "But she's beautiful."

He nodded as she handed the picture back. "Didn't matter to me, ya know? The DNA? She was mine before she was born." He looked sideways at her. "I guess I don't have to tell you that, right?" She grinned. "Um, Eddie didn't feel the same way. He got drunk, tried to run us off the road on the way back from a doctor's appointment, got sent to prison – the Chino usual," he explained. "She told me I didn't have to stick around, but I couldn't leave Jada. I can't explain it to you, because she was a great mom, but I just couldn't take the thought of being away from that little girl. It was this totally weird feeling for a high school senior, but it was real."

They stopped on the far side of the lake and Marissa sat, waiting for Ryan to do likewise. She squinted toward him against the sun and pulled a dandelion from the grass beside her. "So, how did you get back to Newport?"

Ryan sighed and dropped his head, staring at the water. This was the hard part of the story. "Um, things were good for about a year. And then Theresa met this guy. And he seemed to like Jada. He had a better job than I did, so Theresa seemed to think he was qualified to be a father." He took a deep breath and shrugged with a slight laugh. "But he wasn't so fond of me, and he demanded that she tell me to stay the hell away from the kid and from her."

"But she wouldn't," Marissa filled in the blank he left.

Shaking his head, Ryan raised his eyes to look at the sky. "You know Theresa," he said with a tone of fond recollection. "He didn't like it, though, and he raped her. Beat the shit out of her. Left her bleeding in the middle of her bed, and rather than let me find her like that, or her mom or Jada, she just ended it."

"She what?" Marissa gasped. "She killed herself?"

Ryan nodded. He was used to the reaction, but was numb to it himself. It was tragic, no doubt, but he couldn't dwell on it. "Her mom couldn't afford to take Jada, so I called Sandy, we worked out the details, Eddie signed off his rights, and we moved back. I've got a good job, a small apartment, and I'm going to UCI. Summer and Seth, Sandy and Kirsten help me out. It's good, Marissa. Really good," he sighed.

She smiled and nodded. "Sounds like it." He offered her a small grin. "I'm really happy for you."

"I'm happy for you, too," he returned the compliment. "I mean, I'm glad you got help."

They stood and walked back toward the main building in comfortable silence. "So," Marissa spoke when they got back to Summer, sitting on a bench in the courtyard, reading a book. "Maybe we can all hang out sometime after I get released?"

Summer said nothing, only packed her reading materials in her large purse and waited for Ryan to answer. "I don't know. You comin' home?" She bit her lip, smiled, and nodded. "Then we'll definitely hang. I'll bring Jada, you bring some sparkling cider, and we'll make Seth grill for us."

"Sounds perfect," Summer agreed, hugging Marissa again. "It was good to see you again, Coop."

She clung tightly to Ryan's neck next and then rubbed his back. "Thank you for coming," she whispered in his ear, fighting the tears that popped up unexpectedly.

He sniffled his own tears back and tightened his grip on her thin waist. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

They spent another five minutes promising to write and call before Summer led the way back to the car. "So?" she asked when they were back on the road.

"So thank you for lying to me and dragging me here against my will?" he joked.

Summer smacked his gut with the back of her hand. "Alright, smartass. What do you think? Sparkage anymore?"

Ryan shook his head and watched the highway speed by. "There's only one girl I'm thinking about these days, Summer."

She rolled her eyes. "You haven't had sex in almost a year, Ryan. I love Jada, too, but there are some things a girl just can't give her daddy."

He shot her a look that told her she was not allowed to refer to his daughter and his sex life in the same sentence, EVER, and then reached to fidget with the radio. "I can't just sleep with someone anymore, Summer. I mean, the last time? With that girl, Beth, from school? Jada still asks me when she's coming back over sometimes. I have to be careful."

Summer nodded as her cell phone rang. Ryan could deny it – he probably would for awhile. But she had a feeling that the bond between Ryan Atwood and Marissa Cooper wasn't going to be broken much longer.

END


End file.
